My name is Calum Stewart and I'm a stalwart proselyte of the cause fi Scotland. Nothing can come up against my own and my fellow members beliefs and notions. The cause has tae come first and one's own needs and whims must be thrown out the window in favour of real change and real freedom.

I hereby swear to significantly cut back on the lagers, the delicious Irn-Bru and the delectable shish-kebab so that I have dosh enough to pay for my yearly membership, to be a fully fledged member of UFO-Britain.

There's more to be discovered in Scotland than dear old Nessie. The alien precense is a fact and our part of the British Isles is teeming with strange beings. Some of wich never should have made planet-fall since they are aiming to take over our wee globe.

I'll gladly take the lead and draw first blood, just to install some courage in the hearts of lesser men. We're fighters in an escalating war and there's no time to snore in your recliner.

Long live Earth. Long live the earthlings! This is our planet, slithering freaks from a galaxy far, far away have no business here.

With kind regards, Calum